Divorce Road Map: What to Expect at Every Stage

Couple navigating next steps—just like the divorce journey, having a clear map makes all the difference.

Divorce can feel overwhelming, especially at the start. That’s why I created this Divorce Road Map—to give you a clear, non-state-specific outline of what to expect, when to expect it, and how to prepare at each step. Whether you're contemplating divorce, in the middle of the process, or trying to rebuild your life afterward, understanding the stages can make the journey feel far less daunting.

As a Certified Divorce Coach, Certified Divorce Mediator, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®), Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert (CDRE), and licensed Real Estate Broker, I work with women and men nationwide—especially those navigating high-net-worth or gray divorce cases. At every stage of the process, my role is to guide you with clarity, expertise, and compassionate strategy.

Step 1: Becoming Informed & Exploring Options

Trying to make sense of unfamiliar paperwork and financial decisions? You’re not alone. The first step in any divorce journey is understanding your options—and getting the right guidance to move forward with clarity.”

The first phase of divorce isn’t about paperwork or courtrooms—it’s about awareness. Most people don’t realize that before any formal process begins, they have a critical opportunity to make informed, empowered decisions. This is the information-gathering stage.

During this step, many of my clients reach out to me because they’re unsure about whether they should pursue divorce, legal separation, or some other arrangement. They’re trying to make sense of their unique situation and want to know what each path could realistically look like. I help them break it down—with clarity, neutrality, and real-world perspective.

Through personalized divorce coaching and strategic consultation, I provide guidance on:

• The difference between divorce and legal separation

• What to expect emotionally, financially, and logistically in either routehttps://calendly.com/lisamcnallyscalendar

• How to prepare internally (and practically) if they choose to move forward
  

It’s also common for people to reach out to family and friends at this stage—and while they often mean well, their input can complicate things. Loved ones aren’t trained professionals, and they often come with emotional biases that cloud objectivity. Advice from someone who went through divorce five years ago under completely different circumstances is rarely helpful.

That’s why this phase is about choosing professional support wisely. As your divorce strategist, I serve as an impartial, well-informed resource. I’m here to empower you with options, not opinions—so you can make decisions from a place of strength and stability.

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Step 2: Choosing the Right Divorce Path

Choosing the right path matters—for you and your family.

Once a decision is made to move forward, the next step is selecting the process that best suits your needs and circumstances. Common divorce paths include:

• Mediation – A neutral third party facilitates discussion to help both spouses reach mutually acceptable agreements.
  

• Collaborative Divorce – Each spouse retains a collaboratively trained attorney, and all parties commit to resolving matters without court involvement.
  

• Litigation – A traditional courtroom-based process where a judge ultimately decides unresolved issues.
  

• DIY or Uncontested Divorce – Typically used when both spouses are in agreement on all terms and the process is straightforward.
  

Each option carries its own benefits and challenges, depending on factors like the level of conflict, financial complexity, parenting responsibilities, and communication between spouses.

As part of your divorce team, I work closely with clients navigating all of these paths. Whether you’re pursuing mediation, collaborative divorce, litigation, or a DIY approach, I provide clarity, structure, and guidance to help you stay focused, prepared, and emotionally grounded throughout the process. My role is to support your best interests, streamline communication with other professionals, and ensure your decisions align with your goals both now and long-term.

Explore Your Divorce Process Options

Step 3: Organizing Financial Documents

Clarity is power—especially when it comes to your finances.

Divorce is heavily financial. This step requires gathering all documentation: income records, tax returns, mortgage statements, retirement accounts, debts, insurance, and more. The accuracy and completeness of your financial snapshot can significantly impact the outcome of your divorce.

As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®), I do more than just help you gather paperwork—I help you understand what it all means. I guide clients through the process of collecting, organizing, and interpreting financial documents, and I help identify missing or incomplete information. With my background in financial analysis and real estate, I’m uniquely positioned to spot red flags and provide practical insight into everything from cash flow and asset division to long-term financial forecasting.

Because I also hold credentials as a Divorce Coach, Mediator, and Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert, I’m able to help clients evaluate how financial decisions intersect with property division, housing transitions, and future stability. Most professionals offer only one of these services—but at Optimal Divorce Solutions, I offer integrated support that helps you make informed, strategic choices across all financial aspects of your divorce. Let's Organize Your Divorce Financials

Step 4: Parenting Plans and Custody (If Children Are Involved)

Protecting your children starts with how you plan.

When children are involved, developing a thoughtful, structured parenting plan is critical. These plans typically outline legal and physical custody, parenting time schedules, holiday arrangements, and how major decisions—like education, medical care, and extracurriculars—will be made.

At Optimal Divorce Solutions, I bring a rare and valuable perspective to this part of the process. In addition to being a Certified Divorce Coach and Certified Divorce Mediator, I have also served as a Certified Guardian ad Litem (GAL)—a court-appointed professional tasked with evaluating and advocating for the best interests of children during divorce and custody cases. This background allows me to guide parents with an in-depth understanding of how custody decisions are viewed by the courts and what truly supports a child's emotional and developmental well-being.

Unlike most professionals who offer support in only one dimension, I help my clients navigate both the emotional landscape and the practical logistics of co-parenting after divorce. I support clients in drafting parenting plans that are realistic, sustainable, and child-focused—while also teaching strategies for better communication, healthier boundaries, and conflict de-escalation.

Whether you're preparing to propose a parenting plan or want to revise an existing one, I help you avoid common pitfalls and prioritize your children’s stability and peace. Let's Build a Healthy Parenting Plan

Step 5: Real Estate and Property Division

The right guidance prevents costly real estate mistakes.

Real estate is often one of the most emotionally charged and financially significant components of a divorce—especially when the marital home or investment properties are involved. Questions like:

• Should one spouse buy out the other?
  

• Is selling the best option?
  

• How should equity, mortgage liabilities, and taxes be handled can quickly lead to confusion, conflict, and costly errors without the right guidance.
  

At Optimal Divorce Solutions, I offer something most professionals can’t: 26+ years of real estate experience as a Licensed Real Estate Broker, combined with my specialized training as a Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert (CDRE). This dual expertise allows me to provide clients with an integrated approach to real estate and divorce that few others in this field can offer.

I guide clients through fair home valuations, potential sale or refinance options, timing considerations, and how to protect their credit and long-term financial interests. Whether you're navigating luxury real estate, rental portfolios, or deciding if keeping the family home is even feasible, I help you assess the emotional and financial impact of each choice so you can move forward with clarity and confidence. Unlike most professionals who need to refer out for this level of real estate expertise, I provide it in-house—saving you time, stress, and unnecessary expense. Dividing the Home: Your Real Estate Options

Step 6: Negotiation and Settlement

Navigating negotiation can take many turns before reaching clarity and confidence.

Once all financial and parenting information is on the table, the focus turns to negotiation. This phase typically includes reaching agreements on spousal support, child support, division of assets and debts, parenting schedules, and any remaining issues. It’s also where many divorces become unnecessarily drawn out—unless you’re well-prepared and supported by the right professional team.

With over 26 years of real-world negotiation experience as a Licensed Real Estate Broker, combined with my credentials as a Certified Divorce Coach (CDC), Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®), Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert (CDRE), and Real Estate Negotiation Expert (RENE), I offer clients a distinct edge in preparing for and participating in negotiations.

At Optimal Divorce Solutions, I help my clients develop strategic proposals using clear financial modeling and long-term projections—minimizing emotional decisions and encouraging mutually agreeable outcomes. Whether you're negotiating in mediation, collaborative divorce, or attorney-led discussions, I provide behind-the-scenes coaching that helps you stay calm, confident, and in control.

My unique combination of financial, coaching, and negotiation expertise allows me to help clients secure fair, efficient, and well-informed settlements that protect their interests today and well into the future.

Strategize for Your Divorce Negotiation

Step 7: Finalizing the Agreement

The terms of a final agreement are often final in nature so it's important that they are well thought out.

Once a settlement has been reached—whether through mediation, collaboration, or negotiation—the final step is formalizing the agreement. This typically includes reviewing the terms, signing legal documents, and filing them with the court. Depending on your state and whether attorneys are involved, you may also need to complete final disclosures or attend a court hearing for approval and entry of judgment.

While I don’t provide legal advice, I bring over 26 years of experience as a Licensed Real Estate Broker, along with credentials as a Certified Divorce Coach (CDC), Certified Divorce Mediator, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®), Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert (CDRE), and Real Estate Negotiation Expert (RENE). This unique combination allows me to help clients review proposed agreements from both a financial and practical perspective.

At Optimal Divorce Solutions, I work closely with clients and their legal teams (if applicable) to ensure every detail has been considered—from how real estate and financial assets are handled, to how parenting and support terms may play out day-to-day. My involvement often prevents costly oversights and ensures the agreement reflects your long-term priorities and practical needs—not just what looks acceptable on paper.

By bridging the gap between financial reality, real estate logistics, and emotional readiness, I help my clients finalize agreements with confidence and clarity.

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Step 8: Life After Divorce – The Transition Phase

Your next chapter begins with support and strategy.

Finalizing the divorce is not the end—it’s the beginning of your new life. The post-divorce phase often includes refinancing or selling property, updating estate plans and insurance policies, reestablishing financial independence, adjusting to parenting plan logistics, and building a new identity outside of the marriage.

This stage can be overwhelming without the right guidance. That’s why I continue to support my clients well beyond the final court date.

At Optimal Divorce Solutions, I offer Post-Divorce Coaching that integrates my full range of expertise:

• Over 26 years of real estate and negotiation experience as a Licensed Real Estate Broker
  

• Financial clarity and goal-setting support as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) and Financial Coach
  

• Strategic life transition support as a Certified Divorce Coach (CDC) and CDC Divorce Transition & Recovery Coach
  

• Career reinvention guidance as a Career Coach
  

• Home-based business insight as a Home Business Coaching graduate
  

• Real estate strategy as a Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert (CDRE) and Real Estate Negotiation Expert (RENE)
  

Together, these tools allow me to help clients:

• Rebuild financial stability and credit
  

• Create and maintain post-divorce budgets
  

• Adjust to new co-parenting routines and boundaries
  

• Plan for major life goals like purchasing a home, relocation, retirement, or launching a new career
  

Most professionals focus only on the legal divorce. I focus on your whole life after divorce—financially, emotionally, practically, and professionally. This is the phase where true recovery, clarity, and transformation begin—and I’m honored to guide my clients through it with structure, support, and a forward-focused plan.

Create Your Post-Divorce Game Plan

Key Takeaways

• Divorce is a complex, multi-phase process that impacts your legal standing, finances, parenting, home, and emotional well-being. Each stage requires thoughtful decisions and strategic guidance.
  

• Working with a seasoned professional like myself—who understands the legal landscape, financial implications, real estate concerns, and emotional toll—can significantly reduce stress, confusion, and costly errors.
  

• While friends and family may offer emotional comfort, they often lack the training and neutrality needed to help you make informed, future-focused decisions.
  

• My unique combination of credentials—as a Certified Divorce Coach, Certified Divorce Mediator, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®), Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert (CDRE), Licensed Real Estate Broker, Real Estate Negotiation Expert, Divorce Transition & Recovery Coach, and Career and Financial Coach—allows me to support my clients holistically in ways that most professionals simply cannot.
  

• Whether you're navigating mediation, litigation, collaborative divorce, or an uncontested divorce, I can serve as a strategic guide and steady partner throughout the process—and well beyond.
  

• You don’t have to figure this out alone. The right support can help you move through divorce with confidence, clarity, and control.
  

If you’re thinking about divorce or already in the process, I invite you to connect with me. Let’s talk about where you are and where you want to go. Together, we can map out a plan that protects your future and your peace of mind.

Are you ready to take the first step in the right direction? I offer complimentary 30-minute consultations to help you get started with confidence. Let’s create a smart, supportive plan that protects your future.

Schedule a Free Consultation

Lisa McNally

Certified Divorce Coach | Certified Divorce Mediator

Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) | Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert (CDRE)

Licensed Real Estate Broker (NH & ME)

Founder, Optimal Divorce Solutions

Schedule a Free Consultation