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Owning Your Story During Divorce

Updated: Jan 11


Owning Your Story During Divorce

Key Takeaways

  • Why is taking control of your narrative important during divorce? It empowers you to focus on your strengths and shape your future.

  • How can you own your story during divorce? By reframing challenges, highlighting achievements, and setting clear goals.

  • What are the benefits of controlling your narrative? Increased self-confidence, emotional resilience, and a positive outlook.

  • How do you avoid letting others define your story? Focus on your personal growth and avoid engaging in negativity.

  • What resources can help you craft your story? Journaling, coaching, and support groups provide valuable tools and insights.

Why Owning Your Story During Divorce Matters

Divorce can feel like a loss of control, with external factors and opinions often influencing how your journey is perceived. By taking control of your narrative, you reclaim your power and shift the focus from what happened to what’s next. Owning your story during divorce isn’t about ignoring the challenges you’ve faced; it’s about emphasizing your strengths, resilience, and vision for the future.

Taking charge of your story helps you maintain a positive mindset, navigate the transition with dignity, and inspire others around you—including your children, family, and friends.


How to Own Your Story During Divorce

1. Reframe Challenges as Opportunities

Instead of viewing divorce as an ending, see it as a new beginning. Reframe setbacks as lessons that have equipped you with valuable insights and strength.


2. Highlight Your Achievements

Reflect on your accomplishments, both personal and professional. Whether it’s raising children, advancing your career, or overcoming adversity, these achievements are key parts of your story.


3. Set Clear Goals

Define what you want your future to look like. Setting goals gives you a sense of purpose and direction, helping you focus on what truly matters.


4. Avoid Negative Narratives

Resist the urge to dwell on grievances or let others’ opinions shape your story. Choose to emphasize your growth and aspirations rather than rehashing past conflicts.


5. Embrace Supportive Resources

Working with a coach, therapist, or support group can help you articulate your narrative and provide tools for maintaining a positive outlook.


The Benefits of Controlling Your Narrative

Increased Self-Confidence

Owning your story reinforces your self-worth and reminds you of your ability to overcome challenges.


Emotional Resilience

By focusing on growth and future goals, you build resilience to navigate the emotional ups and downs of divorce.


Improved Relationships

A positive narrative fosters healthier interactions with your ex, children, and support network by reducing negativity and focusing on constructive outcomes.


A Clear Vision for the Future

Taking control of your story allows you to visualize and work toward a fulfilling and meaningful new chapter.


Avoiding Common Pitfalls

Letting Others Define Your Story

It’s easy to feel influenced by others’ opinions or judgments. Remember, your story is yours alone to tell.


Focusing Solely on the Past

While it’s important to acknowledge your experiences, dwelling on the past can hinder your progress. Balance reflection with forward-thinking.


Engaging in Negativity

Avoid public disputes or venting on social media. These actions can detract from the positive narrative you’re building.


Practical Tools for Crafting Your Story

Journaling

Writing about your experiences helps clarify your thoughts and identify themes of strength and resilience in your journey.


Vision Boards

Create a visual representation of your goals and aspirations. This tool serves as a daily reminder of the future you’re working toward.


Coaching

A divorce coach can provide guidance and strategies for framing your story in a way that aligns with your values and goals.


Support Groups

Connecting with others who share similar experiences can offer perspective, encouragement, and inspiration.


How Your Story Shapes Your Future

Your narrative has the power to influence your mindset, relationships, and opportunities. By taking control of your story, you create a foundation for a brighter future—one defined by resilience, purpose, and growth. Remember, you are the author of your journey, and every chapter holds the potential for new beginnings.


Author: Lisa McNally, Certified Divorce Mediator, Coach, Financial Analyst and Divorce Real Estate Expert


Ready to craft an empowering post-divorce narrative? Schedule a Free Initial Consultation today at www.LisasCalendar.com. Let’s build your story together.



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© 2025 by Lisa McNally, Certified Divorce Mediator, Coach, Financial Analyst & Real Estate Expert.
Lisa McNally provides professional mediation, coaching, financial analysis, client preparation, and real estate services within her licensed and certified areas of expertise. She is not an attorney, financial advisor, tax advisor, or therapist. For matters beyond the scope of these services, please consult a licensed professional in those areas.

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