Understanding Alimony: What Divorcing Spouses Need to Know
- Lisa McNally
- Sep 27
- 5 min read
When couples divorce, questions about alimony — also known as spousal support or spousal maintenance — often cause confusion and anxiety. Who pays? How much? For how long? And why do the rules seem so different from state to state?
If you’re going through a divorce in New Hampshire, Southern Maine, or elsewhere, understanding alimony is key to navigating financial expectations fairly and realistically. This blog will break down the basics of alimony, why it’s awarded, how states differ, and how to approach this topic with the right mindset so you don’t let resentment or fear cloud your decisions.
What Is Alimony In Divorce?
Alimony is financial support paid by one spouse to the other after (or sometimes during) divorce. Its purpose is not to punish but to ensure that both spouses can maintain some level of financial stability while adjusting to post-divorce life.
Common Terms You’ll Hear
Alimony / Spousal Support / Spousal Maintenance – often used interchangeably depending on the state.
Payer / Payor – the spouse making the payments.
Recipient – the spouse receiving support.
Mindset reminder: Alimony isn’t about “winning” or “losing.” It’s about creating a bridge toward financial independence after divorce.
Why Alimony Is Awarded
While each state uses its own laws, courts and mediators often look at why alimony may be needed in the first place.
Common Reasons for Alimony
Income disparity: When one spouse earns significantly more than the other.
Career sacrifices: A spouse who stayed home to raise children or supported the other’s career.
Health or disability: If one spouse is unable to work or has increased financial needs.
Education or training needs: To give one spouse time to gain skills and enter the workforce.
Quick insight: In many cases, alimony isn’t forever. It’s often awarded to allow the lower-earning spouse to become financially independent.
How Alimony Is Calculated
There is no one-size-fits-all formula nationwide. Each state uses its own methods, ranging from strict formulas to broad judicial discretion.
Factors Most States Consider
Length of the marriage
Income and earning capacity of each spouse
Age and health of both spouses
Standard of living during the marriage
Contributions to the marriage (financial or non-financial)
Needs of the recipient spouse
Ability of the paying spouse to provide support
New Hampshire Example
In NH, alimony is not guaranteed. Courts look at the need of one spouse and the ability of the other to pay.
Duration of marriage matters: longer marriages are more likely to result in longer-term support.
Alimony typically ends if the recipient remarries or either spouse passes away.
Maine Example
Maine recognizes several types of spousal support: general, transitional, reimbursement, and nominal.
“Transitional” support is common, designed to help a spouse gain skills or education.
In marriages under 10 years, long-term support is rare.
Want clarity about what alimony could look like in your divorce? Book your free Divorce Strategy Call today → LisasCalendar.com
Different Types of Alimony
Alimony isn’t always a monthly check forever. Here are the most common types:
Temporary (pendente lite): Support during the divorce process to cover immediate needs.
Rehabilitative: Short-term support to help a spouse gain skills or education.
Reimbursement: To repay one spouse for expenses that supported the other’s education or career.
Permanent: Ongoing support, usually only after long marriages or when one spouse cannot work.
Lump-sum: A one-time payment instead of ongoing checks.
Mindset shift: Think of alimony as flexible. It can be structured to fit the needs of both spouses and doesn’t have to look the same in every divorce.
The Mindset Side of Alimony
Alimony often triggers strong emotions: resentment from the payer, guilt from the recipient, or frustration from both. These feelings can derail negotiations if not managed.
Reframing Alimony in Your Mindset
Not punishment, not reward: It’s a tool for transition.
Temporary stability: Support often gives both spouses breathing room to rebuild.
Part of the bigger picture: Instead of focusing only on alimony, consider the entire financial settlement (assets, debts, property).
Practical Mindset Tools
If you’re the payer: View alimony as a structured plan that protects you from ongoing disputes and helps you move forward.
If you’re the recipient: Use support wisely — as a stepping stone toward independence, not permanent reliance.
How Long Alimony Lasts
Duration depends on state law, the length of marriage, and individual circumstances.
Short-term marriages (under 10 years): Alimony may be temporary or not awarded at all.
Medium-term marriages (10–20 years): Support is more common, often rehabilitative or transitional.
Long-term marriages (20+ years): Courts may consider longer or even permanent support, especially if one spouse cannot return to work.
NH & Maine Notes
NH: Judges have flexibility. Alimony may last only as long as it’s needed for transition.
ME: Transitional support is often capped at a certain number of years; long-term support is less common unless the marriage was lengthy.
Can Alimony Change or End?
Yes. Alimony is not always permanent.
Common Triggers for Modification or Termination
Remarriage of the recipient
Significant income change (job loss, new high-paying job)
Retirement
Health changes
Not sure what’s realistic in your situation? Schedule your free Divorce Strategy Call → LisasCalendar.com
Alimony Is About Stability, Not Punishment
Alimony can be one of the most confusing and emotional parts of divorce, but with the right perspective, it becomes a tool for stability, transition, and fairness. Every state is different, and every case is unique. What matters most is approaching the topic with facts in hand and the right mindset to keep you focused on the future, not stuck in the past.
Want personalized guidance on your divorce finances? Book your free Divorce Strategy Call → LisasCalendar.com
Frequently Asked Questions:
Q1. What is alimony in divorce? Alimony, also called spousal support, is financial assistance one spouse may provide the other after divorce to ensure stability during transition.
Q2. How is alimony calculated? It depends on the state. Most courts consider income, earning ability, length of marriage, health, and standard of living. Some states use formulas; others give judges broad discretion.
Q3. How long does alimony last? Duration depends on factors like length of marriage and state law. In short marriages, it may be temporary. In long marriages, support may last longer, sometimes permanently.
Q4. How does alimony work in New Hampshire? NH doesn’t use a strict formula. Courts decide based on the receiving spouse’s need and the paying spouse’s ability to pay. Support typically ends if the recipient remarries.
Q5. How does alimony work in Maine? Maine offers several types: transitional, general, reimbursement, and nominal support. Long-term support is uncommon unless the marriage was lengthy.
Q6. Can alimony be changed after divorce? Yes. Courts may modify or end alimony if circumstances change significantly (remarriage, income changes, retirement, health).
Understanding the basics of alimony is a strong starting point, but your specific circumstances may require a closer look. Whether you’re in New Hampshire, Maine, or elsewhere, a private consultation can give you personalized guidance and help you make informed decisions about your next steps.
With care,
Lisa McNally
Certified Divorce Mediator | Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®)
Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert® (CDRE®) | Certified Divorce Coach® (CDC®)
Licensed Real Estate Broker (NH & ME)
Founder & CEO: Optimal Divorce Solutions
Helping families divorce with clarity, confidence, and respect.
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