When One Spouse Wants to Sell and the Other Doesn't: What to Do
- Lisa McNally
- Jul 19
- 4 min read
In a perfect world, divorcing couples would agree on everything—including what to do with the family home. But in reality, it's not uncommon for one spouse to want to sell the property while the other refuses. Emotions run high, financial fears surface, and the house becomes a battleground.
This is especially true in high-net-worth divorces involving luxury homes, second residences, or long-held family properties.
As a Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert (CDRE), Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®), and licensed real estate broker in both New Hampshire and Maine, I’ve helped many couples navigate this exact situation—strategically, professionally, and without unnecessary litigation. In this post, I’ll share what you need to know when one spouse wants to sell the home and the other doesn’t.
Why Real Estate Becomes a Sticking Point in Divorce
The marital home is often tied to more than just money—it holds emotional value, family memories, and even identity. When one spouse is ready to move on and the other isn’t, conflict is almost inevitable.
Common reasons one party may not want to sell include:
Emotional attachment or sentimental value
Desire for stability (especially when children are involved)
Belief they can keep or afford the home—even if they can’t
Lack of knowledge about the home’s current market value or costs
Desire to delay the divorce or use the home as leverage
At McNally Group Realty, I help clients get to the root of these concerns and create a plan that supports both legal outcomes and long-term financial health.
Step 1: Clarify Ownership and Mortgage Liability
Before you can address whether the home should be sold, confirm:
Who is listed on the title (legal ownership)
Who is listed on the mortgage (financial responsibility)
Whether the home is considered marital or separate property
What your divorce agreement or prenup says about the property
Step 2: Get a Professional Valuation
Disagreements often arise because one or both spouses don’t understand the home’s actual market value. They may overestimate or underestimate the worth of the property—or believe it’s more “affordable” to keep than it truly is.
I provide a divorce-specific market analysis that reflects real-time market data, luxury pricing strategy, and condition-based valuation. This objective report often becomes the foundation for more productive negotiations.
Step 3: Evaluate the Financial Reality
Many people say they want to keep the home, but few fully understand what that entails. The retaining spouse must:
Qualify for a refinance in their name only
Pay out the other spouse’s equity share
Assume responsibility for taxes, insurance, maintenance, and HOA fees
Afford the home on their post-divorce income
As a CDFA®, I guide clients through a detailed affordability analysis to determine if keeping the home is even realistic.
Step 4: Address the Emotional Drivers
Often, resistance to selling is based on fear or unresolved grief rather than financial logic. A few compassionate—but firm—discussions led by neutral professionals (like a Certified Divorce Coach or Mediator) can help shift the conversation from emotion to resolution.
At Optimal Divorce Solutions, I offer integrated support for the emotional, financial, and legal elements of this decision—especially when couples are stuck or escalating conflict.
Step 5: Consider Legal Remedies if Agreement Can't Be Reached
If no agreement can be reached voluntarily, your attorney or mediator may pursue one of the following legal options:
Court-ordered sale: A judge may require the property to be listed and sold, especially if the mortgage is in both names.
Partition action: A legal process where one owner can force the sale of jointly owned property. This is costly and should be a last resort.
Delayed sale arrangement: Sometimes the court will allow one spouse to stay temporarily (e.g., until kids graduate), with clear terms for future sale.
Avoiding litigation is almost always preferred—financially and emotionally. But if it becomes necessary, working with a CDRE ensures the home is protected and the transaction complies with court orders.
Step 6: Use a Neutral CDRE to Support the Process
As a Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert, I act as a neutral third party when divorcing couples disagree about what to do with their home. I do not represent one spouse over the other—instead, I protect the value of the asset and provide impartial real estate expertise.
My role includes:
Creating property valuation reports
Listing and marketing luxury homes neutrally
Coordinating showings and communication without bias
Managing emotional dynamics to reduce conflict
Supporting court or mediation processes when required
If you’re divorcing in New Hampshire or Maine, or relocating nationally or globally, I provide real estate support backed by eXp’s expansive network and relocation services.
Key Takeaways
One spouse cannot force a home sale without joint agreement or a court order.
Emotional resistance often stems from fear, grief, or misinformation.
Accurate valuation and financial analysis are critical to making sound decisions.
Refusing to sell without legal or financial backing can hurt both parties.
A CDRE offers neutral, court-aware real estate support during the process.
If you and your spouse are at odds over what to do with the home, I can help you explore options and reach clarity—confidentially and with expert support. You don’t have to navigate this conflict alone.
Lisa McNally
Certified Divorce Coach | Certified Divorce Mediator
Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) | Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert (CDRE)
Licensed Real Estate Broker (NH & ME)
Founder, Optimal Divorce Solutions
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