When Your Child Doesn't Want to Visit the Other Parent
- Lisa McNally
- Jul 23
- 3 min read
Divorce can be especially challenging when children are involved—particularly when a child resists visiting the other parent. This situation is emotional, complex, and often misunderstood. As a Certified Divorce Coach, Certified Divorce Mediator, and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, I’ve supported many parents through this tough scenario. At Optimal Divorce Solutions, I help families address these situations with empathy, practical solutions, and a focus on long-term well-being.
Why a Child May Resist Visitation
Understanding the reason behind your child’s refusal is essential. It’s rarely about manipulation or disobedience—it’s often rooted in emotional, psychological, or situational discomfort.
Emotional Triggers
Anxiety or stress due to the divorce itself
Fear of conflict or tension at the other parent’s home
Feeling loyalty-bound to one parent
Developmental Factors
Teenagers seeking more autonomy and independence
Young children reacting to disrupted routines
Safety Concerns
If your child voices fear or discomfort due to possible abuse or neglect, take it seriously. These concerns must be addressed immediately with legal guidance and appropriate professionals.
Legal Considerations for Visitation Refusal
As much as you may sympathize with your child, you're still legally obligated to follow your custody order unless it’s formally modified.
Parental Responsibilities
Encourage your child to visit the other parent unless there's a safety risk
Document your child’s resistance without coaching or influencing
Avoid placing blame or speaking negatively about the other parent
When to Involve the Court
If resistance becomes ongoing, consult with your attorney or divorce mediator. A custody modification or court-monitored evaluation may be warranted.
Strategies for Easing the Transition
At Optimal Divorce Solutions, I coach parents through proactive, child-centered strategies to reduce resistance and create a cooperative co-parenting environment.
Open Dialogue
Validate your child’s feelings without over-identifying with them
Reassure them that both parents love them and want what's best
Keep discussions age-appropriate and neutral
Co-Parent Communication
Present a united front when possible
Avoid using your child as a messenger
Consider parallel parenting if cooperation is strained
Engage a Professional
Family therapists or child psychologists can provide neutral ground
Mediation can help establish new parenting agreements
Co-parenting coaching offers tools to realign dynamics
Real Estate Considerations
If your child’s visitation resistance stems from distance or discomfort at the other parent's home, real estate logistics may need re-evaluation.
As a Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert (CDRE) and Licensed Real Estate Broker, I help families assess:
Whether relocation closer to the child’s school or community would help
If downsizing or finding a new residence can improve co-parenting logistics
How to evaluate home equity and ownership in alignment with custody goals
These discussions are deeply personal and strategic—especially in high-net-worth or gray divorce cases. I bring deep experience in navigating them.
How to Create a Child-Centered Parenting Plan
Divorce Mediation vs. Litigation: What’s Better for Your Family?
Understanding the Role of Equity in Divorce Property Division
Key Takeaways
Children resist visitation for emotional, developmental, or safety-related reasons—not manipulation
Parents must follow legal visitation orders while documenting concerns
Professional support and strategic coaching can ease resistance
Real estate logistics may play a key role in co-parenting success
Prioritizing the child’s well-being while protecting legal standing is critical
If you’re facing this challenge, know that you’re not alone—and that support is available. Together, we can assess what’s best for your family and take practical steps forward.
Schedule your private consultation today, and let’s build a plan that supports both your child’s emotional needs and your parenting rights.
Lisa McNally
Certified Divorce Coach | Certified Divorce Mediator
Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) | Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert (CDRE)
Licensed Real Estate Broker (NH & ME)
Founder, Optimal Divorce Solutions
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